Chapter 6: Drumroll Puh-lease

(The Hockey Bag series was previously published on

My team got together after our second game (and second loss — DOH!) to indulge in a popular post-game tradition that players have undoubtedly been enjoying since the game was first invented.

Yes, I’m talking about beer and nachos.

Although I suppose in the early days of hockey it may not have been nachos. Perhaps it was more like beer and bread. Or beer and bison. Whatever the food staple of the day, certainly beer or a similar barley-type beverage was on the table.

But anyway… Our reason for getting together (besides beer and nachos) was to select a name for our team. And we did. And it is a GREAT name! But before I share it with you, I’d like to clarify a few other hockey terms. For no reason other than it’s fun to do so:

Hockey Hair… This is what we sport on our heads while enjoying our beer and nachos. This term was derived from that special helmet-shaped hair-do that the majority of hockey players commonly wear after coming off the ice. When it comes to my post-game hair-do, all I can say is… Thank goodness for toques!

Hockey Widow… This is what I USED TO BE whenever my ex-boyfriend would be out playing hockey, and I would be at home waiting for him to be done playing hockey. Hence the term widow. Except he wasn’t exactly dead. But he might as well have been. Hence the term ex-boyfriend.

Hockey Widower… This is what my next boyfriend is GOING TO BE. Meaning I will be out playing hockey, and he will be at home waiting for me to be done playing hockey. Unless of course he wants to play on his own team. Then afterwards, we could meet upstairs for beer and nachos. Sporting matching his-and-hers hockey hair.

Hockey Fans… This is the term for all those people of all ages who like to watch hockey games, including the handful of folks who watched our game. You must reaaaaaaaly love hockey, if you are watching us play. Either that, or you’re just coming out because you are tired of being a hockey widow(er). Whatever the reason, thanks for your support! And if you reaaaaaaally want to be our fans, here’s a bit of advice for you… We like beer.

Hockey Bags… This is the name for the big giant cases that people lug all of their hockey gear around in. Some just have straps for carrying while others have wheels for rolling. Mine has straps AND wheels, so I’m never exactly quite sure what to do with it. I’d also like to mention that it’s an Easton bag, to match my new Easton hockey gear.

Because I’m quickly discovering that when you play on a woman’s hockey team, it’s all about the matching. Which is the reason why we are ordering purple hockey socks to match our new purple hockey jerseys. Which means, on the bright side, if we don’t win any games, we could always consider joining the Barney-on-ice tour.

And speaking of Hockey Bags… THAT IS OUR NEW NAME! The Hockey Bags… how fun is that??

I, for one, am very proud to be a Hockey Bag! Even if it means I have to wear purple socks and a purple jersey…

Suddenly, hockey hair doesn’t seem that bad.